Please panic – Nelsson is still alive

A conversation

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  • I am Nelsson
    and I'm suffering from an existential crisis

Music, maestro

Posted by nelsson on August 10, 2009

Today, my brother is coming over. This week, we will be making music. Recording. If, and that’s a big if, it’s good enough, I will make you listen to it and you will like it. Uhhuh.

Here’s a picture for all you happy people out there.

a blur

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Angry Gods

Posted by nelsson on August 10, 2009

I like doing nothing in particular. There is a taboo on this. We always have to do something productive or interesting or something to develop your inner self or crap like that. I for one find this a disgusting way of living. I can’t stand constant pressure. I am very good at doing nothing and I can recommend it to you. Just let it go.
Ironically, I feel happier when I do something I really love doing, like writing a play or a film scene or making music. I need to learn to think about myself for five minutes without being negative.

In all honesty, I feel guilty for writing all these personal difficulties down. I am not depressed or bipolar or autistic, I’m just 21 and I have a negative outlook on life. Some people are happier than others. I’m just not dealing with it right now, at all. I need to start being comfortable about myself.

I also feel guilty for not posting any creative writing on this blog. I just don’t do much creative writing! I don’t feel like writing. When I’m feeling creative, I play music. When I’m not, I don’t want to go through the trouble of judging my own writing skills. They usually don’t come off well.

So you see, my mind works this way. I want to share my thoughts, but when I do, I feel like I’m whining about the quality of my life, which is not that bad. Are you reading this? I constantly twist and turn until I realize my thoughts are part of a downward spiral, at which point I stop doing anything and just feel sad. My thoughts are a prison. I am the guardian. As long as I think I can break free, I can. I just don’t think I can.

It’s a maze. There are paradoxes everywhere, conflicting thoughts, and every corner I turn there is a dead end. There should be an exit somewhere.

I’ll try to find it. But for now,
SOMETHING CRASHED INTO SATURN”S RINGS!

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The truth is out there

Posted by nelsson on August 5, 2009

Mulder and Scully were almost killed today by two evil twin sisters with superhuman strength and intelligence.

Yes, The X-Files have captivated me once more. I have seen every episode of seasons 1-6 – seasons 7-9 I skipped for a large part though I have seen the very last episode (and the 2008 film ‘I Want To Believe’, which, it’s hard to admit, kinda sucked). The show is about unexplained phenomena, which is a euphemism for ALIENS WILL COLONIZE OUR PLANET. Read the rest of this entry »

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Tom Brosseau!

Posted by nelsson on August 4, 2009

I love this song!
I hadn’t heard of Tom until @2525 posted a link on Twitter.
I was home alone and listened to this song ’till about four in the morning.
I have since then tried to copy his style of singing. It didn’t work but it did teach me that whispering can be more effective than shouting at times ;-)

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So help me…

Posted by nelsson on August 4, 2009

I am relatively new at blogging and I will start with what is arguably the worst thing I can do to attract attention:
Talking about myself.
I think I like talking about myself. I like sharing my problems and my ideas with others and I realise this can be boring or even annoying. At this point in my life, I feel as though it’s better to write things down (in a foreign language) so I can take a step back and analyze what the heck I’m doing. So why share it with the world? Read the rest of this entry »

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Stepping Stones

Posted by nelsson on August 4, 2009

steppingstones

I like to think of myself as a pretty adventurous kid, a maverick
or an artist, both in life and in work. I am, however, very self-conscious,
to the  point where I cannot help but to find myself annoying.

Which is not a very helpful trait in this world.
This blog is a way to clear my mind.

For the past few years I have been struggling a bit personally.
I hope to find some answers as to why I am behaving in the way I am.
My English will quite possibly¬† suck at times. It’s just easier for me to use as a language.
Less confronting, maybe.
Stepping Stones.

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